2008 Woodie Awards
J.K. Rowling Announces Eighth Harry Potter Book
Avid Reader
Issue date: 4/4/08 Section: April Fool's Day
Weirdoes across the globe united in pointy hats and flowing robes on Wednesday, April 2, in celebration of the surprise announcement that J.K. Rowling will release an eighth installment of the Harry Potter series late this summer.
In lieu of the destruction of Lord Voldemort in the seventh book, the book's title suggests a whole new set of problems facing the young wizard Harry Potter, which right now is rumored to be Harry Potter and the Recurring Cold: Life on the Streets of Diagon Alley/Harry Potter and DeVry Night Classes.
Despite criticisms that the eighth book couldn't possibly fit with the rest of the series since the main villain was destroyed in the book before, Rowling said in an interview with CNN last week that "as the title shows, there's still plenty that could go wrong, even without Lord Voldemort out of the picture now."
As fans of the series know, Harry Potter dropped out of school to fight Lord Voldemort in the seventh book, rendering all his years at Hogwarts moot. Rowling said she hoped to highlight the importance of education by writing about the next part of Harry's life-his sad and desperate unemployment.
"People can't expect to have jobs just handed to them in a gold Triwizard's cup, not even after they slay the most dangerous wizard to ever live, thus saving all of wizard-kind," Rowling said. "Harry dropped out of school, so now he has to pay the price."
She said that, luckily for Harry, Hermione and Ron dropped out of a school, too, so they would remain best friends, exchanging witty banter as always, just while fighting over food stamps rather than over the best way to defeat super villains.
Rowling refused to elaborate on anymore of the plotline, though she hinted that DeVry night classes might play a huge role in the book. She also added that she had decided that she was "just kidding" about most of the deaths in the seventh book, and that readers could expect everyone, except maybe Voldemort, to be back in time for more zany adventures in the eighth book.
Students at Saint Louis University have indicated mixed reactions about the news; on one hand, Harry Plodder, president of the SLU Muggle Society, said he was "ecstatic" about the news.
"I was really worried that I would have to leave my fantasy world and face the real one after the seventh book came out," he said. "Now I can delay getting a job for at least another six months."
The reporter assigned to interview the president of the SLU Death Eaters had not returned by press time.
Rowling has remained covert about the planned prequel for the series, scheduled to be released in 2009 and tentatively called Molly Weasley and the Pregnancy Test(s).
In lieu of the destruction of Lord Voldemort in the seventh book, the book's title suggests a whole new set of problems facing the young wizard Harry Potter, which right now is rumored to be Harry Potter and the Recurring Cold: Life on the Streets of Diagon Alley/Harry Potter and DeVry Night Classes.
Despite criticisms that the eighth book couldn't possibly fit with the rest of the series since the main villain was destroyed in the book before, Rowling said in an interview with CNN last week that "as the title shows, there's still plenty that could go wrong, even without Lord Voldemort out of the picture now."
As fans of the series know, Harry Potter dropped out of school to fight Lord Voldemort in the seventh book, rendering all his years at Hogwarts moot. Rowling said she hoped to highlight the importance of education by writing about the next part of Harry's life-his sad and desperate unemployment.
"People can't expect to have jobs just handed to them in a gold Triwizard's cup, not even after they slay the most dangerous wizard to ever live, thus saving all of wizard-kind," Rowling said. "Harry dropped out of school, so now he has to pay the price."
She said that, luckily for Harry, Hermione and Ron dropped out of a school, too, so they would remain best friends, exchanging witty banter as always, just while fighting over food stamps rather than over the best way to defeat super villains.
Rowling refused to elaborate on anymore of the plotline, though she hinted that DeVry night classes might play a huge role in the book. She also added that she had decided that she was "just kidding" about most of the deaths in the seventh book, and that readers could expect everyone, except maybe Voldemort, to be back in time for more zany adventures in the eighth book.
Students at Saint Louis University have indicated mixed reactions about the news; on one hand, Harry Plodder, president of the SLU Muggle Society, said he was "ecstatic" about the news.
"I was really worried that I would have to leave my fantasy world and face the real one after the seventh book came out," he said. "Now I can delay getting a job for at least another six months."
The reporter assigned to interview the president of the SLU Death Eaters had not returned by press time.
Rowling has remained covert about the planned prequel for the series, scheduled to be released in 2009 and tentatively called Molly Weasley and the Pregnancy Test(s).
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