'Monologues' presents incomplete picture of sex
Katy Willis
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Last week, when I read Ms. Brockett-Richmond's charge that a "silence" surrounding women's sexuality in our society promotes violence, my first thought was: "What silence?" American culture floods us with sexual information, images, discussions and portrayals. More often than not, the subject is women. "The Vagina Monologues" is just one example of this widespread and damaging over-exposure of women's sexuality.
My problem with this exposure is not that I think "vagina" is a dirty word. It is not that I find sexuality shameful. It is not that I feel honest, mature discussion of sexual themes to be scary or disgusting. Quite the contrary: "Vagina" is a decent word for a beautiful body part that "The Vagina Monologues" distorts and defaces. Sexuality is a profound blessing that "Monologues" would have us confuse, abuse and misuse. Honest, mature discussion is an appropriate, necessary process to which "Monologues" fails to contribute.
Admittedly, I view sexuality in a radically different way from how it is presented in "Monologues." To me (and to the Catholic Church), sex is the consummation of marriage: a freely chosen, exclusive, lifelong commitment of love between a man and a woman. It unites spouses totally and irrevocably, body and soul, and gives them the power to help create new life. Sex is immensely sacred, and sex's immense pleasure attends that sacredness. Men and women alike must treat it and each other with respect-which includes not seeking that pleasure anywhere but in the act of love with one another. To seek it elsewhere would be an offense against the other's personhood and the couple's union.
"Monologues" picks up on two truths in accord with this vision. The first is that female sexuality is beautiful. "I Was There," a monologue that describes new life emerging from a woman's body, illustrates this admirably. The second is that violence, especially sexual violence, against women is reprehensible. "My Angry Vagina," in which a woman who was raped expresses her rage toward her attacker, makes this quite clear.
From these truths, our reasoning should go like this: Female sexuality is beautiful; violence against women is wrong; therefore, we should do away with attitudes that perpetuate such violence. This is what "Monologues" and its advocates purport to do. The intentions are right, but the solutions are counterproductive.
Rather than advocating a loving use of sexuality for a total gift of self to another, "Monologues" implies that women will be free from violence and oppression when we turn in on ourselves, identify ourselves with our vaginas, and pursue sexual pleasure with abandon. Again and again, "Monologues" shows pleasure as an end in itself. It presents any means to achieving pleasure as acceptable, even praiseworthy. After all, they say, pursuit of individual orgasm is an exercise of "freedom."
This sad, enslaved obsession, this reduction of self to sexual parts, is the master plan "Monologues" sets forth for the liberation of women. Yet this plan enshrines the attitudes that prompt abuse of women: pursuit of consequence-free pleasure and failure to see others as real persons but rather as means to an end.
Pope John Paul II's criticism of pornography applies well to "Monologues": The problem is not that it shows too much of the person, but too little. It presents a woman as reducible to a vagina, a vagina as reducible to the means of sexual pleasure and pleasure as something that can and should be sought without restraint. With a worldview like this, why shouldn't anyone, female or male, seek pleasure without thought for the others involved-even to the point of violence?
Women, if we want men to honor our sexuality, we won't get far if we begin by degrading it ourselves. If we want to understand female anatomy as beautiful, to understand sexual love as meant for deep, honest delight and joy, we won't get far by chanting the word "cunt" and faking orgasms for a cheap laugh. We won't build much respect for freely chosen, exclusive, sacred intimacy by describing sexual organs and experiences in voyeuristic detail in front of total strangers. We won't reduce the desire for pleasure without personal consequences by performing a work that normalizes, glorifies, sharpens and even satisfies that desire. We won't encourage men to curb the expression of that desire if we don't curb it in ourselves.
Many men are aware of this. Some of the strongest opponents of "Vagina Monologues" are chivalrous, courteous men who are sickened by the exploitation of women. They deeply desire to show love and respect toward women but find the content of "Monologues" to be contrary to that end. They believe "Monologues" presents a distorted, incomplete picture of sexuality that promotes neither respect for women nor real freedom to love.
This is why so many people of both sexes find "The Vagina Monologues" unacceptable. We are not seeking to impose or control. We are seeking to liberate both men and women from a stifling view of sexuality that is so concentrated on demanding pleasure; it cannot see the gift of self in the fullness of its beauty. We know that as long as self-centered pleasure seeking continues to be applauded, violence against women will continue to rise. After all, it's only logical.
Katy Willis is a senior in the College of Arts and Sciences.
2008 Woodie Awards
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
anonymous953
anonymous953
posted 2/22/05 @ 3:03 PM CST
Bravo Miss Willis! It is refreshing to see that Catholic Doctrine is still alive on campus.
Mark Serafino
sdgh
posted 11/14/08 @ 3:40 PM CST
s is why so many people of both sexes find "The Vagina Monologues" unacceptable. We are not seeking to impose or control. We are seeking to liberate both men and women from a stifling view of sexuality that is so concentrated on demanding pleasure; it cannot see the gift of self in the fullness of its beauty. (Continued…)
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