Saint Louis University was never the place I imagined my enlightenment of identity would occur; I pictured this enlightenment would happen in the middle of a desert, on ancestral lands or at the Pyramid of the Sun, in San Juan Teotihuacán, in a grand show of fire and tears, a rebirth in the place of my people.

The reality was very different from that; the strengthening of my identity as a Chicana came from the invisibility I have felt on this campus, since the day I stepped foot here. Now, in my fourth year, those feelings have not changed; if anything, I feel more alienated every day as I notice more and more that I am not welcome here. The University fact book published this June stated that there are 354 Hispanos y Latinos on this campus. Dónde están? Where are they? We have representation on campus through the Hispanic-American Leadership Organization (HALO) and Caribbean and Latin-American Student Association (CALSA), yes, but what I have noticed is a lack of critical Latina consciousness.

In light of “Occupy SLU” and events in the greater St. Louis area, there is a heightened black student consciousness, which I have been in complete awe of. I want this for Latinos y Latinas. I want a coming together to share stories of oppression, discrimination, prejudice, invisibility, pain, success. I don’t want this to be limited to students either; I want staff and faculty (all 147 of you) to come together as well to raise a consciousness of our place here on this campus and what our impact can be. Tenemos una hístoria de resistencia y fortítud. (We have a history of resistance and fortitude.) We have different backgrounds, but there is a common thread of lucha (struggle) running through us. Let’s bring that lucha to SLU. I feel such a disconnect from the other Latinos y Latinas, but I feel we have so much chispa (spark) and potential to make something happen. As Gloria Anzaldúa said, however, we will have to make bridges and paths as we walk because they have not been laid out for us on this territory.

This undertaking will not be simple though; it’s difficult to create a consciousness in an environment that stifles and suffocates it, in a city where Latinos are an invisible underclass. Creating a Latino consciousness is easier when music, murals, artwork, food and faces that provide a sense of belonging surround you.

I’m not a religious person, but I go to Santa Cecilia for Mass, in Spanish, just to hear my language spoken and to see faces that could easily be my tías (aunts) and tíos (uncles).

I feel there is a severe lack of discussion of issues that relate to the lived experiences of so many Latinos; for example, despite the huge influx of unaccompanied minors who made their way north from Latin America, I have seen no talk of it on this campus, even as a human rights issue. Only three times in my four years has immigration been mentioned in class. Housing rights, job discrimination, police brutality and slavery? No. Farm, factory and domestic working conditions? Never. Conversations about the effect of being a minority on campus? Not once. On a larger scale at this University, this is missing; but I also see this missing among Latino students. I don’t mean this as an admonition of  “You’re not doing enough! Do better! What’s wrong with you?!” I am simply crying out: Mi pueblo, dónde están? Te necesito. Necesito mis compañeros y compañeras (My people, where are you? I need you. I need my peers and colleagues).

I want Latino culture to be more than a cantina on campus or occasional cultural events and definitely more than the appropriation I see occurring during Halloween and Cinco de Mayo. I want the various cultures studied more than just once a semester and in depth because – news flash! – not all Latinos are Mexicanos. I want our history to be taught here.

Latinos, hermanos y hermanas (brothers and sisters), I want us to be a presence on this campus because we deserve to be here just as much as anyone else. We earned it con tanto trabajo que nos ha costado mucho (…with so much work that has cost us a lot).

So, mis compañeros y compañeras, this is an invitation: let’s talk, I’ll bring the café.