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From scarily-clad to scantily-lacking: Thoughts on female Halloween costumes

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I love Halloween. It’s one night of the year when everyone has the chance to take on a completely different persona and no one will find it odd (depending on what or who you are portraying…) because everyone else is doing it.

Taking on a new identity is part of the reason I love fashion— it just takes one item that is a little out your style norms to change your attitude or the way you carry yourself.

What I do not love about this holiday is what it becomes after the age of 14.

When did the 31st of October transition from trick-or-treating to the legendary “Mean Girls” line of, “Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it”?

We all remember the bunny outfit Regina George sported throughout this cult-classic scene.

This idea of putting on animal ears has transformed tried-and-true costumes like Minnie Mouse from a cute little mouse wearing polka-dot bloomers with a flower in her hair into a mini-skirt, bustier and thigh-high combination.

It’s more like her dirty evil twin than Mrs. Mickey. I wonder why people think they need to wear a foot of fabric in order to dress up for this holiday. I simply do not understand.

Maybe it’s because I am always cold.

Ladies, we wonder why and often complain about men objectifying us… well, maybe it’s because we wear costumes smaller than our childhood garments in representation of the spookiest holiday.

There are certainly people who wear less clothing than the average girl on a regular basis and own it (get it, girl!), but for those of us who are not normally that open with our bodies, is it necessary to need an excuse or a reason to wear minimal clothing?

Call me conservative or tell me I sound like your mother, but is it really necessary to leave that little (or nothing at all) to the imagination?

Part of the fun of Halloween is the inevitable debauchery and devil-may-care activities we all partake in. How are those things feasible when you are sporting something low-cut, backless and latex? I cannot comprehend why anyone would wear something that constricts your body and requires you to have a designated friend to make sure nothing slips out.

While the front of the “Vixen Kitten Costume” from Johnny Brocks Dungeon makes complete sense to me (long sleeved, black, bust-enhancing), how in the world is Catwoman supposed to do her super-heroine duties in a backless cat suit? Catwoman’s normal outfit— back covered and all— is sexy enough, isn’t it?

If you want to rock one of these less-than-modest costumes, fine, but it would be cheaper to wear a bikini and call yourself a “spring-breaker.”

For females searching for adult-sized costumes that are less come-hither and more, dare I say, festive, know that those costumes exist. Personally, I’m a sucker for ironic or cutesy costumes that resemble old-fashioned or even childlike Halloween ensembles. They are adorable, unexpected, incredibly easy to deal with and, better yet, they are comfortable.

Most all of us have a photo somewhere of our first Halloween costume. In mine, I was seven months old, sporting a pumpkin suit with ghost themed tights that are bunched up at my toes because my mother could not get them all the way up my fat little nugget legs.

Miss that kind of simplicity? is a great website for kitschy holiday items and every year they always have a few costumes.

If you are dead set on the animal theme, the “Panda Dress” ($72) from is the peak of black-and-white adorableness. Let the cute panda face shine and stay warm by adding thick, black tights and black flats.

For the perpetually freezing, offers the “Sweet-Hearted Sailor Dress” ($88)— this navy number with white accents and a sailor collar just needs a jaunty sailor hat to complete the look. The three-quarter sleeves offer some warmth without covering the adorable costume.

To further the look, add a gold anchor bracelet and some red shoes.

For those interested in innocence and Halloween tradition, has a few more options. The sweet “Cutie Candycorn Dress” ($78) has a mini-dress length and trapeze shape, complete with the white, orange and yellow stripes any proper candycorn would have. It’s demure and classy and it comes with a hat, which makes it downright hilarious.’s little “Jolly Jack-O-Lantern Dress” ($78) is one of my favorites; it’s a great example of innocent fun for females on Halloween. Between the short sleeves and the petite collar, it’s perfectly playful and still manages to showcase the legs of the owner.

This Halloween, have fun, be safe and do not accept candy that is not in its original wrapper… Let me re-phrase that to fit our college lives: have fun, be safe and do not drink anything in a bathtub, trashcan or large tub.

While this is one of the few times of the year when anything goes, how about we go all out but not all-off?

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